Sperm Count

An 85 year old man was requested by his doctor for a sperm count as part of his physical exam. The doctor gave him a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow".

The next day the 85 year old man reappeared at the doctor's office and gave him the jar, which was empty as on the previous day. The doctor asked, "What happened?"

The man explained, "Well doc, it's like this, first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, but still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right hand, then with her left, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first her teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing."

The man continued, "We even called up Arleen, the lady next door and she tried too. First with both hands, then an armpit, and she even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing."

The doctor was shocked! "You asked your neighbour?"

The old man replied, "Yep, non of us could get the jar opened."